Well, it's been a LONG time. I wish I had a really good reason for why I haven't written but there really isn't one. I think about my blog almost everyday and wonder, "What shall I write?" or "God, what would you have me write?" And truthfully, I just have nothing! Life's been so overwhelming and on such a rollercoaster for the last 2 years that I'm almost weirded out by a sense of "normalcy". Things have been busy with my new job and all but for the first time in probably over 2 years I am not daily plagued by the fears, trembles, and worries of anxiety. This is huge, of course, but it's also strange to be in a time of rest. I try to remind myself everytime I think about this that I need to be thankful for every moment because I don't know what tomorrow or the next day will bring. I've been in the fastlane with God for so many months now and when I initially started this blog I had so many things to write about. I couldn't get my thoughts out fast enough. And now I genuinely don't know what's happening. Whilst (i love that word) pondering what in the world God is doing in my life right now, I stumbled upon my cousin-in-law's blog and God reminded me that even in this time, He has a purpose....to WAIT. I hope you are refreshed, renewed, and blessed by the poem below. I sure was and I don't think I could begin to express to you in better words what this expresses about where I am in life right now. Here it is:
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "Wait".
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
