A time of remembrance...

Well, David and I just celebrated our 4th anniversary. What a special time we had. He surprised me with a trip up to Sonoma (Napa Valley area) and we just had a delightful time. We stayed in a 1-room Bed and Breakfast that was just adorable. We visited several wineries and got some great souvenirs. My favorite had to be our day trip to a local spa in which we did a mud slide treatment and then spent the day lounging in the pool. So relaxing! I've included a couple of pictures below. Unfortunately, we did not take very many pictures at all. We were just having too good of a time!



One of the best wedding gifts we received was an Anniversary Journal. It catalogs the first 25 years of our marriage. Each year we each get a page to journal about the previous year together and then there's a section where we write out our favorite memories of the year. This year was particularly interesting as I grabbed the journal, a hot cup of tea, and went out to sit by the creek and write. I will say this has been one of the best years of our marriage, I think in part due to my own growth process. As I've come into more wholeness and healing, I've seen our marriage blossom. I read through the last 3 years of journal entries and I was just cracking up at some of the memories we wrote down and so filled with joy at what we had journaled. What a great way to stop and reflect and remember our year together.

I've been doing a Beth Moore study, Stepping Up, that goes over several of the Psalms titled, the Psalms of Ascent. These psalms were sung during the Israelites yearly pilgrimage to Jerusalem. I've been fascinated by this as as Beth has related this to our own pilgrimages. These psalms were sung as a reminder of who God is, what He had done for them, and encouragement of where they were headed.

It's really gotten me thinking. I take time every year to get away with David and journal about our marriage. In a way, it's somewhat of a "pilgrimage" through our year together and a chance to remember how we've grown and what God had taught us throughout the year.

I don't do that with anything else in my life and I realized I should. I often don't look back over a time period of growth with God and just spend time reflecting, worshiping, and thanking Him for where I've been.

I wish I remembered the actual date I became a Christian. I'm always amazed by people who know their Christian birthday. I definitely have the memory of it but I don't even know what time of year it was. I was only 5. However, while that was a significant milestone, I have had very significant periods of growth since then. This year tops them all. I have never been so deep in a pit before and watched God pull me out and transform me. Throughout counseling, my counselor encouraged me to journal. I did journal some, but at the conclusion of counseling I have journaled more frequently than ever before. I think it's because I don't have that outlet of counseling anymore.

Ok...I really am going somewhere with this :) Hang with me...

I'll never forget the day I realized I had broken free. I was doing the Beth Moore study, "Breaking Free", and I wondered what it would look like when I actually broke free. I was in the shower and it dawned on me, I was free. It's a process. It wasn't like I was all chained up and then suddenly free...God had to unlock every single chain and it was like the final key had been turned and I was free. I didn't even know at the time what to do with such freedom. So I immediately dropped to my knees and asked God to never let me forget what I had been through. I told my counselor on the last day that I just never want to forget this journey and all that God brought me through. She said, "Well, you've journaled through it, right?" Yeah...not as much as I should have...but I do now.

I realized, this was a momentous occasion in my spiritual life. And I definitely remember the day I broke free. I should be taking time to celebrate that. Just as the Israelites traveled to Jerusalem each year and celebrated through several festivals, singing and praising God, I need to do that as well.

It's amazing how busy and wrapped up in life we get. But are we taking the time to just sit before God and look at our year with Him? Are we taking time to remember the huge milestones we've had with Him? Are we remembering what it was like to be so deep in that pit and be pulled out by Him?

So, I'm still thinking on it but I'm thinking that just as I take some time away with my hubby, I need to take some time away with my Savior. Maybe it's a day trip to the spa, or my favorite little hideaway at the park, where I can read through my journal and write out my gratitude for the year behind me. I need some time of remembrance. I never want to forget where I've been because it makes me who I am today. Just some thoughts...

Will Write Soon!

I can't even begin to tell you all that has gone on over the last 3-4 weeks. We're moved and I'm exhausted. I feel so overwhelmed every time I even think about writing on my blog because there's been so many emotions, transitions, thoughts, breakthroughs, and some heartaches for me. Nothing I can really even put my finger on...it's just been a crazy couple of months and I feel like life just came to a screeching hault! Our traveling for the summer is done and we are settled for the most part. I often write down ideas for things I want to share and then when I have time to write, I just don't even know where to begin. So, this is a start and I will write more soon. There may be multiple posts in one day so check back when you can! My love to you all...thanks for being a part of my blog.

Moving...

Well, David and I are in the throws of packing and moving this weekend. I won't have internet hooked up again until next Friday so I'm temporarily signing off. Maybe I'll get a chance before then to blog :)

Writer's block breakthrough

Writer’s block breakthrough

I have had the worst writer's block lately. I've thought and thought and thought about what to write on my blog, serious or silly. And every time I thought about it, nothing. I just couldn't get on my blog and blab on an on unless something was really "upon my soul".

It's funny how I come about this whole process. Most of the time something will just hit me and I know I have to immediately sit down and blog. I'm actually at work and risking writing this blog right now which means this will probably be a short one. Or it will take me all day to write this!

I’ve been having one of those weird mornings. I got up, spent time with the Lord, got ready for work, and already felt my mind drifting away from the subjects I had studied in the Word. I’m frustrated by this because I want my heart to be genuinely submitted before the Lord. I was learning about keeping my eyes upward and casting my gaze on the Lord. I want this so much but then I find I’m totally distracted only moments later. It only makes me wonder where my heart truly is.

I got to work, someone had rock music on in the background, it’s about 75 degrees outside, and this is definitely not where I feel like being right now. I don’t even feel like a Starbucks. What’s wrong with me??? How do I go about my work, stay focused, give it my all, all the while, keeping my eyes on the Lord? I’m really struggling with how to keep my heart in the right place all the while working on curriculum.

Well, finally, in an attempt to try something different, I grabbed my headphones and ipod out of my purse. With all the choices to choose from, it was clear what I needed. My brother and sister-in-law just got me onto this new group called Telecast (maybe their not new at all…just new to me). Let me tell you, their music has the ability to put your heart in the right place! I truly felt transformed. As I began working on all my curriculum projects I had this music ringing in my ears. My heart was suddenly transformed. I feel energized, worshipful, positive, and I feel like I suddenly have a clear mind. Why is it so difficult for me to realize that when I have a crummy day or when I roll out of bed and just feel blah, the answer is Jesus…yes…the typical Sunday school answer. But it’s TRUE!!!

I suddenly began tapping my feet and found it difficult to keep quiet to those around me who had no idea what I was listening to. I just wanted to start singing along when I realized I’m not all by myself here in the office. Being quiet, though, and allowing the songs to infiltrate my mind, I am singing on the inside!

Focusing my heart and mind on Him, keeping my gaze upward, filling my mind and heart with worshipful music truly transforms my HEART, SOUL, MIND, and STRENGTH and I find I am loving Him more, even as I sit here and work.

Psalm 98:4: Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth; Break forth and sing for joy and sing praises.

If your day is anything like mine: full of distraction, full of frustration, full of people, full of work…go ahead…put on some music…sing. It really does change the heart!

Oh Lord I come
Come before your throne
Just as I’m known, I long to know you
More and more
I hear your knock oh Lord
I’ll open this door just to be by you

If I want love I’ll come to the cross
If I want life I’ll count this life loss
Anchor my soul, don’t let me drift away

If I want peace I’ll come to the King
If I want release then you’ll have to be the
Anchor of my soul, don’t let me drift away

Jesus I will stay with you
I will stay

It's good to be back!