Boring...

Well, I wish I had something more interesting to write about right now but I just don't. Life feels like it's been so hectic...and yet so stagnant. I can hardly believe it's mid-July. I keep thinking to myself, "oh, yeah, I should get this or that done by 4th of July." And then I realize, "Marci, that was like 2 weeks ago!" I keep waiting for summer to come and then I realize summer is almost over! They are already putting out school supplies for crying out loud! But, I guess that's not saying much since stores are sporting Christmas decor by October!

I will say that life has been a rollercoaster. We got back from the Grand Canyon back in April and nothing was really on the horizon. I was a little down after having such an amazing vacation and then coming back with nothing to really look forward to. It's like I blinked and now I'm here. It's just been crazy.

Just a note about my anxiety...things have been going really well but there are always ups and downs. Lately, it's been down. I attribute a lot of that to moving...although great...it's a big transition: new neighborhood, new drive, new noises, new routine. That kind of change is much harder on me than I like to admit and I'm also a perfectionist. I want to do it all and do it all right away. I want to wake up at 5:30 before the alarm even has a chance to go off, work out, have my time in the Word, eat breakfast, make a healthy lunch, and get to work just shy of 8:30. Sooooooooo....back to the real world! I've really had to learn to let go of all that.

My friend Julie and I just started setting up weekly goals for ourselves. This week, I wanted to be prepared with food everyday for work. I wanted a healthy lunch and a couple of healthy snacks. I was feeling so eager and so ready by Sunday evening. I thought, "heck! I can do more than just be prepared with lunches this week!" I crawled into bed at 8:45 after cleaning the house, grocery shopping, meal planning, unpacking boxes, laying out my workout clothes, and lunch already packed for the next day. Then....total insomnia. This has come out of nowhere for about a week and half now and I found myself so frustrated. Just a tip...the worst thing for insomnia is getting more and more frustrated...it definitely doesn't make you tired!!!

I had to email my friend Julie at our weekly appointed time to tell her about how I was doing with my goal this week. Did I get to bed early every night? No. Did I workout? Just once. Did I have everything in order? No. But I did make my lunch everyday. Life happens! And I need be ok with letting go of order. I picked something and I made that happen. If it turns out that I'm able to go workout a few times this week or wake up when my alarm goes off, great! But maybe that's something to tackle next week!

I feel so torn by this because I want to be someone who takes advantage of time, who captivates time, who doesn't let time just pass me by. But, I think in the midst of letting my schedule "rule" me, time is passing by regardless. I think I need to be ok with my calendar changing up a bit and being ok with things that just don't happen. Or, even letting go of things I have scheduled. David and I had to cancel our cable subscription when we moved. We debated what we would do for tv at our new place...cable...digital box...satellite. And I have to tell you, 6 weeks has gone by and I don't miss it! I'm sure many of you think I'm crazy and I probably would have thought I was crazy too. But, it's allowed me to take a breather and just enjoy my surroundings. It's kind of a nice vacation. Maybe I need to just enjoy that and let life fall into place a little bit...let things settle. I even started reading Jane Austin books...so fun.

Well, here I am, folding laundry, with "nothing" on my mind and out pops a blog post! I literally was planning on writing, "I have nothing to say...so boring...so sorry." But maybe it was a good time to just journal a little! Or maybe you're someone like me who feels like time is passing you by and you feel overwhelmed. Well, I encourage you to pick one thing to focus your mind on and set a goal this week for that one thing. Maybe you're someone who doesn't feel motivated or overwhelmed to do anything. Make a plan, don't let time just pass by. Finally do that one thing you've been planning on doing for such a long time.